An end

I'm sitting here feeling very low as our vet has just left after putting our beloved Mouse to sleep. Mike couldn't be here with us as he's finding this all incredibly difficult and couldn't put himself through it. I understand completely. I would give anything not to have had to do this but Mouse was diagnosed with a terminal throat cancer in December and has gone downhill over the past few days.


Apparently these tumours become excruciatingly painful and we wanted to save him that. The last two evenings he's had real problems eating, despite obviously wanting the food so we decided that it was best for him to ease him from life now rather than waiting until he was in obvious constant pain. We could probably have left the decision for a few more days but really that would have been for our benefit I think, rather than his.


I felt terrible doing this to him as he had a good morning. He actually managed to eat quite a bit of food and went out for a wander round. I am concerned I made the wrong decision but this was not an illness he would recover from and he could only get worse. I know from personal experience that often animals (and people) have a really good day just before they go seriously downhill and I'm guessing that was the situation here. But I feel completely shitty.

Mouse was the most loving cat I've ever known, and would nuzzle into your neck when you held him. He was also a cheerful and stoical little soul, despite nearly dying twice from a blocked urinary tract and suffering a number of operations for other issues. He always bounced back immediately and never bore any grudge. I WISH HE WAS STILL WITH US.

Sorry, feeling a bit too emotional to carry on. I will blog later today or tomorrow about something far more positive but I just needed to let some of this out. Don't expect anyone really to read this but needed to say how much I loved Mouse and how much godawful pain I'm in now he's gone.